Jesus pulls out of GOP race

SOUTH CAROLINA - Jesus Christ became the latest Republican candidate to pull out of the primaries Saturday in the wake of polls showing him trailing behind even Jon Huntsman.

Mr Christ's gaffe-prone campaign finally collapsed after a YouTube video surfaced showing him healing sick people with no health insurance. It is thought that he has performed many such treatments across the country without accepting payment, a revelation that has enraged Republican donors from the insurance industry. The video has been played a number of times on Fox News where it was described as "an affront to American values" and "worse then Obamacare".

The Son of God entered the race on a wave of popular enthusiasm last year, but like so many of the runners has found the media spotlight unforgiving. In the first Republican debate he was booed by the audience when he said that "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God", declared that "you cannot serve both God and money" and described the poor as "blessed". Frontrunner Mitt Romney denounced the words as "class warfare".

Mr Christ's popularity declined further when asked whether he would go to war to prevent Iran acquiring nuclear missiles. He replied that the US "should turn the other cheek", "love our enemies" and that "those who live by the sword will die by the sword". Further, peacemakers were also "blessed". Several of the other candidates accused Mr Christ of giving succor to America's enemies.

Jesus has also been perceived to be weak on social issues. He refused to be drawn on homosexuality, stating only that Americans should "love their neighbor", a response many activists regarded as unsatisfactory.  One Republican commentator noted "that was the moment He lost the South".

In his concession speech Mr Christ thanked his followers and expressed hope that he would be able to make a second coming in 2016.

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